Stop Child Sexual Abuse

<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHLrT79mG2fdQ2E_b49jYH5E5plOrCtDNC46lF0kHoJE8gLOjpzcVEc5vZUxCxVEDCB9_bxW8rDaVhO9qpu6THHnQEG3asjTg0PvxaJTusGaXFyd271ppOSajheWqHoqaxryMBiZp7sfJa/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHLrT79mG2fdQ2E_b49jYH5E5plOrCtDNC46lF0kHoJE8gLOjpzcVEc5vZUxCxVEDCB9_bxW8rDaVhO9qpu6THHnQEG3asjTg0PvxaJTusGaXFyd271ppOSajheWqHoqaxryMBiZp7sfJa/s200/untitled.bmp" width="153" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">By Robert Tornabene</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Since the incident that has permeated Penn State University there have been many people who have asked me to write an article on the issue of grooming, how it happens and how to protect against it. As with everything, I freely admit I am not an expert, especially in this area, I do however having first hand knowledge in my personal life that allows me draw upon as a resource. This is an issue that is very important to me and I believe that all parents, care givers and adults should be aware of. <strong><em>We are the protectors of our young, we should best be prepared to do just that.</em></strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">But let me start by giving you some numbers</span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></strong></div><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old.</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">30-40% of Children are abused by family members.</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">1 in 5 children are sexually solicited while on the internet.</span></div></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Approximately 20% of the victims of sexual abuse are under age eight.</span></div></li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Here's what the predators do</strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">When you hear of grooming, the image that comes to mind of a normal person is personal care; hair, skin, face etc. But in the world of predators grooming actually refers to a deliberate action with the aim of befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child. The purpose is to lower the child’s inhibitions in preparation for sexual activity with the child or to exploit the child.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2-yjUYGiwJxGfmpe9Nnl_wKoh8xvMcB61Te0xQ1xUoUgzURwVimwjmby7UlUH3qyAXgNu9oaVydgqESTqnkTMLG141fzWjIf3hEbqG2E4sl9ravLkeO9w-Tftf704ndYu2tt_2vnAlLhf/s1600/childsexabuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2-yjUYGiwJxGfmpe9Nnl_wKoh8xvMcB61Te0xQ1xUoUgzURwVimwjmby7UlUH3qyAXgNu9oaVydgqESTqnkTMLG141fzWjIf3hEbqG2E4sl9ravLkeO9w-Tftf704ndYu2tt_2vnAlLhf/s200/childsexabuse.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The actual act of grooming is a process that does not happen quickly. But I should add that generally child sexual abuse occurs at the hands of someone personally close and well known to that particular child. That actual abuse is typically preceded by grooming.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The actual process of grooming begins by the predator picking a target area. He may visit places where children are likely to go: schools, shopping malls, playgrounds, parks, and the like. He may work or volunteer at businesses that cater to children, such as what Sandusky is alleged to have done. Other predators will strike up relationships with adults who have children in the home—single parent families make particularly good targets. In these tough economic times, having someone help with child care or babysitting, makes adults with children even easier targets. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The next step is selecting the victim. While there is not single profile of a victim of child sexual abuse, as any child can be victimized, many predators target children that have obvious vulnerabilities. A child who is a loner, isolated who desires attention will reach out for that attention like a sponge to water. Children with family problems, those in particular who spend time alone and unsupervised may be targets. Children who lack self-esteem, confidence and who are isolated from their peers become likely targets.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">A child who feels unloved and unpopular will soak up adult attention like a sponge. Children with family problems, who spend time alone and unsupervised, who lack confidence and self-esteem, and who are isolated from their peers are all likely targets. The goal of targeting teens with obvious issues is two fold; first it’s easier to desensitize a child with these issues. Secondly, by building trust and confidence while increasing the target child’s isolation is imperative. The entire goal of the predator is to desensitize your child into accepting sexual abuse.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Predators engage or "recruit" their victims in different ways. Many use a combination of forced teaming and charm. They may offer to play games, give rides, or buy treats and gifts as tokens of friendship. They may offer drugs or alcohol to older children or teenagers, as John Wayne Gacy did in the late 1970’s. The predator may try to win a parents confidence with a child by offering your support by having a quick conversation with you about a lie the child told or by suggesting that there is something unbalanced to about your child. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLahmqsNLXuteLvA9Rd5ywYavUF21gDpQPt9fBZTAmuB5MDdk8av0kQEzhXlX4ahsvFpG1DCobYOMIu3X-7FPG2xAx2vPO1GqNwT_qAsim9747FzZBbRlwOgDqif3douSjR7oL-zbiFpsK/s1600/Child-Sexual-Abuse-Has-Declined-by-5-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLahmqsNLXuteLvA9Rd5ywYavUF21gDpQPt9fBZTAmuB5MDdk8av0kQEzhXlX4ahsvFpG1DCobYOMIu3X-7FPG2xAx2vPO1GqNwT_qAsim9747FzZBbRlwOgDqif3douSjR7oL-zbiFpsK/s200/Child-Sexual-Abuse-Has-Declined-by-5-2.jpg" width="159" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Towards the targeted child they will almost always offer a sympathetic, understanding ear. Using the lines such as, “Your parents don't understand or respect you? I do.” “Other kids make fun of you? I know what that's like—it was the same way for me when I was your age.” Nobody trusts you? Boy, I know what that's like—your parents never really want you to grow up. But I trust you. I respect you.” </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Successful predators find and fill voids in a child's life</strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The predator’s goal is to promote secrecy at some point during the grooming process. The secrecy binds the victim to the predator: "Here's some candy. But don't tell your friends because they'll be jealous, and don't tell your mother because she won't like you snacking between meals." As the process continues the secrecy joins hands with threats: "If you tell your mother what happened, she'll hate you. It'll kill her. Or I'll kill her. Or I'll kill you." </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ultimately the process used by the predator creates that emotional bond which through grooming leads to physical contact. Predators use the grooming process to break down a child's defenses and increase the child's acceptance of touch. The first physical contact between predator and victim is often nonsexual touching designed to identify limits: They may even tell an inappropriate joke to the targeted child, a touch on an upper arm that lingers a little too long or a kiss on the lips to test whether your child is likely to tell on them. If the predator is satisfied that your child won’t tell, the predator moves on to other forms of inappropriate touching. It breaks down inhibitions and leads to more overt sexual touching—the predator's ultimate goal.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>How to recognize it</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The best way to recognize grooming behavior is to pay attention to your child and the people in your child's life. Because children have not developed mentally to the point in which they fear people, or can intuit their intentions or have sufficient experience to support their beliefs it is an adults responsibility to protect children. The demands that are placed upon, should never – ever- be more important than the welfare of a child. When surrender responsibility for them to others without question, we invite trouble, particularly when that trust or responsibility is blindly given. Parents should know their child's teachers, coaches, day care providers, youth group leaders, and other significant adults in their lives. Make unannounced visits. Ask questions. Stay involved.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">The organization <a href="http://www.d2l.org/" target="_blank">Darkness to Light</a> which seeks to protect young people from abuse through education and awareness and offers these <a href="http://www.d2l.org/atf/cf/%7B64AF78C4-5EB8-45AA-BC28-F7EE2B581919%7D/7%20Steps%20to%20Protecting%20Our%20Children.pdf" target="_blank">7 steps to protecting Children from Sexual Abuse.</a> They have an excellent on handout these steps to help protect children available for download.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><ol><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Learn the facts</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Minimize the opportunity</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Talk about it</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Stay Alert</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Make a plan</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Act on Suspicions</span></div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Get Involved </span></div></li></ol><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Wrapping it up</strong> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lastly —talk to your children. Teach them to recognize grooming behavior. Teach them to be wary of any physical contact initiated by an adult. And teach them to trust you with their problems and their pain. The safest child is the child who knows he can bring his problems and concerns to parents and adult caregivers without reproach or retaliation</span>.</span></span></div>

Stop Child Sexual Abuse

By Robert Tornabene Since the incident that has permeated Penn State University there have been many people who have asked me to write an ar...

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How to recognize teen drug use

As parents, we say that we want to know everything about our children but we are often uncomfortable or choose to ignore certain attitudes and behaviors in hopes of preserving peace in the family. We rationalize to ourselves that it is just a phase our teenagers are going through and will grow out of. By doing this we often overlook the warning signs that identify teen drug use.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>How to Recognize the Signs of Teen Drug Use</strong></span><br /><ol><li>Observe the appearance and personal hygiene of your teen. Consider whether it has changed. Drug abusers often stop caring about their appearance and personal hygiene.</li><li>Monitor school grades of your teen. Drug abusers lose the ability to focus and their grades begin to drop.</li><li>Question unexplained weight loss in your teen. Drug abusers often experience weight loss. Determine if your child has been ill or recently began a new physical activity or diet. If not, weight loss is certainly a cause for concern.</li><li>Discover who your teen is friends with. Drug abusers often change friends because their old friends don't understand or approve of their drug use.</li><li>Examine the spending habits of your teen. Ask yourself if your teen suddenly needs extra money for lunch, school activities and such. Drug abusers can never get enough and need more and more money to support their habit.</li><li>Scrutinize any sneaky, deceptive behavior of your teen, like lying about where she is going and who she is with. Drug abusers know that drug use in unacceptable, especially to parents so they try to hide any and all evidence.</li></ol><strong><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Tips & Warnings:</span></strong><br /><ul><li>If any of these warning signs seem to apply to your teen it is time for you, as a parent, to take a closer look.</li><li>If several of these warning signs apply to your teen, intervention is necessary immediately.</li><li>Teen drug use often begins months, or even years, before parents actually become aware of it.</li><li>The consequences of teen drug use can be devastating, possibly even fatal.</li></ul>

How to recognize teen drug use

As parents, we say that we want to know everything about our children but we are often uncomfortable or choose to ignore certain attitudes a...

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Above the Influence

<br />I had the very distinct opportunity to be a facilitator through the <a href="http://www.mcyaf.com/">Maine Community Youth Assistance Foundation (MCYAF).</a> MCYAF was selected as one of three sites in Illinois and only eighteen nationwide to be part of the Above the Influence next advertising campaign.<br /><br /><div> </div><a href="http://www.abovetheinfluence.com/">Above the Influence</a>, is a compaign to help influence young people to remain drug free. According to it's website "It's a state of mind. It's about being yourself and not letting negative influence get to you."<br /><br /><div> </div>Just last week, I participated with another member of MCYAF to assist some very bright, energetic and influential young ladies all members of the Cheerleading squad from Maine South High School in Park Ridge. These young ladies gave up there early morning before school to participate. The goal to shape a message to help influence young people just like them to live a life Above the Influence.<br /><br /><div> </div>Now as a Police Officer of over 18 years it was an experience that I found to be both rewarding and enlightening. I have been working with youth for most of my law enforcement career. This group of very energetic and bright ladies came in with ideas that were both uplifting and eye catching.<br /><br />The Above the Influence campaign is part of the very thing that the MCYAF Organization is working to influence.<br /><br /><div> </div>MCYAF Coalition Mission, is to increase overall community capacity for advocacy, education, guidance and resources for families in order to promote alcohol free and drug free youth.<br /><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div><strong>MCYAF Coalition Goals </strong><br /><ol><li>Reduce alcohol, tobacco and other drug use among Maine Township youth</li><li>Effect change in public policy</li><li>Establish and strengthen collaboration and capacity to address teen alcohol, tobacco and drug use</li></ol><br /><div>After completing this portion of the program two of the teens ad campaign brand slogans were selected and potentially could go to regional and ultimately to the national ad campaign, for the Above the Influence brand. Regardless of the outcome these bright young ladies crafted messages that would both inspire, direct and lead toward both themselves and their friends in leading a drug free life.</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>I was proud to participate and stand willing and able to represent the my agency and my organization in any effort to reduce drug, gang and violence involvement across the nation.</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div>

Above the Influence

I had the very distinct opportunity to be a facilitator through the Maine Community Youth Assistance Foundation (MCYAF). MCYAF was selected...

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Tips for Middle School Aged Youth on Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs

<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIV2LHQvjI5Etr0LI7Pv6jH3kU2EPjM6qm0ZSTHONwKlb4zQt1pP6i-8K2rTz8sRKyrUFUiAK7ZjQY9FvjieNbafw7dBRLL8k93PXeHuwEmbULwicgkMhWxi9VLwlkdWOR2a_gr4i7AHxM/s1600/article-page-main_ehow_images_a07_iv_4o_reasons-drug-testing-middle-schools-800x800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIV2LHQvjI5Etr0LI7Pv6jH3kU2EPjM6qm0ZSTHONwKlb4zQt1pP6i-8K2rTz8sRKyrUFUiAK7ZjQY9FvjieNbafw7dBRLL8k93PXeHuwEmbULwicgkMhWxi9VLwlkdWOR2a_gr4i7AHxM/s200/article-page-main_ehow_images_a07_iv_4o_reasons-drug-testing-middle-schools-800x800.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The year your child enters middle school or junior high school is both an exciting and a challenging time. They are little fish in a big pond and often want desperately to fit in. Because your children may now see older students using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs and may think they are cool and self-assured, your children may be tempted to try drugs too.<br /><br /><div> </div>Drug use goes up dramatically in the first year of middle school or junior high.<br /><br /><div> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>To help your children make good choices during this critical phase, you should:</strong></div><br /><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Make sure they are well-versed in the reasons to avoid alcohol, tobacco and drugs;</li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Get to know their friends by taking them to and from after-school activities, games, the library and movies (while being sensitive to their need to feel independent);</li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Volunteer for activities where you can observe your child at school; and</li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Get acquainted with the parents of your children’s friends and learn about their children’s interests and habits. If it seems that your child is attracted to those with bad habits, reiterate why drug use is unacceptable.</li></ul><br /><div> </div><strong>To make sure that your child’s life is structured in such a way that drugs have no place in it, you should:</strong><br /><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">If possible, arrange to have your children looked after and engaged in the after-school hours if you cannot be with them. Encourage them to get involved with reputable youth groups, arts, music, sports, community service and academic clubs.</li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja363lspS23SDTWKJFK1wcYnNam6cY2R_zyD6uuH5RwIChqzb7Xhib-R0bVcuT8FOAOVR-pFpERrMPxa3qXZ-gw5KAZAU3ksouPp6k1y5vVwo1RWKCeav3d6JPSNdpCbnrDa1B9HEUzM8B/s1600/young-boy-w-pills-having-lunch-at-school.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="113" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja363lspS23SDTWKJFK1wcYnNam6cY2R_zyD6uuH5RwIChqzb7Xhib-R0bVcuT8FOAOVR-pFpERrMPxa3qXZ-gw5KAZAU3ksouPp6k1y5vVwo1RWKCeav3d6JPSNdpCbnrDa1B9HEUzM8B/s200/young-boy-w-pills-having-lunch-at-school.jpg" width="200" /></a>Make sure children who are unattended for periods during the day feel your presence. Give them a schedule and set limits on their behavior. Give them household chores to accomplish. Enforce a strict phone-in-to-you policy. Leave notes for them around the house. Provide easy-to-find snacks.</li><li>Get to know the parents of your child’s friends. Exchange phone numbers and addresses. Agree to forbid each others’ children from consuming alcohol, tobacco and other drugs in their homes, and pledge that you will inform each other if one of you becomes aware of a child who violates this pact. </li><li> Call parents whose home is to be used for a party. Make sure they can assure you that no alcoholic beverages or illegal substances will be dispensed. Don’t be afraid to check out the party yourself to see that adult supervision is in place. </li><li>Make it easy for your child to leave a place where substances are being used. Discuss with your child in advance how to contact you or another designated adult in order to get a ride home. If another adult provides the transportation, be available to talk to your child about the situation when he or she arrives home. </li><li>Set curfews and enforce them. Weekend curfews might range from 9 p.m. for a fifth-grader to 12:30 a.m. for a senior in high school. </li><li>Encourage open dialogue with your children about their experiences. Tell your child, “I love you and trust you, but I don’t trust the world around you, and I need to know what’s going on in your life so I can be a good parent to you.”</li></ul>

Tips for Middle School Aged Youth on Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs

The year your child enters middle school or junior high school is both an exciting and a challenging time. They are little fish in a big pon...

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Tips for Elementary School Children regarding alcohol tobacco and other drugs

<br /><br /><div> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ShU3ZHSsiQMsEGoc2zFY8aMZ7AwW2WCqjZ0kL8rW3iZ4HyEvIo2o8OhUPpPKxu9ZReWc5Thl5TADwA1vOiifUt1QiswiycPAJITJV2iq4PXeR2i9zVpOZ4uPpdCUvH10JaS8FP4znUdu/s1600/elementary+kids.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ShU3ZHSsiQMsEGoc2zFY8aMZ7AwW2WCqjZ0kL8rW3iZ4HyEvIo2o8OhUPpPKxu9ZReWc5Thl5TADwA1vOiifUt1QiswiycPAJITJV2iq4PXeR2i9zVpOZ4uPpdCUvH10JaS8FP4znUdu/s200/elementary+kids.bmp" width="166" /></a></div>A child this age usually shows increasing interest in the world outside the family and home. Discuss how anything you put in your body that is not food, water or juice can be extremely harmful, and how drugs interfere with the way our bodies work and can make a person very sick or even cause them to die. (Most children of this age have had real-life experiences with the death of a relative or a friend’s relative.) Explain the idea of addiction—that drug use can become a very bad habit that is hard to stop. Praise your children for taking good care of their bodies and avoiding things that might harm them.<br /><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div><strong>By the time your children are in third grade, they should understand that:</strong><br /><br /><ul><li> foods, poisons, medicines and illegal drugs differ;</li><li>medicines prescribed by a doctor and administered by a responsible adult may help during illness but can be harmful if misused, and therefore children need to stay away from any unknown substance or container; and</li><li>adults may drink in moderation but children may not, even in small amounts because it’s harmful to children’s developing brains and bodies. </li></ul><br /><div> </div><strong>Before leaving elementary school, your children should know:</strong><br /><br /><ul><li> the immediate effects of alcohol, tobacco and drug use on different parts of the body, including coma and death;</li><li>the long-term consequences of drug use, including addiction and loss of control of one’s life;the reasons why drugs are especially dangerous for growing bodies; and</li><li>the problems that alcohol and other illegal drugs cause not only to the user, but to the user’s family and the world.</li></ul><br /><div> </div><strong>Questions elementary school children frequently ask about drugs:</strong><br /><br /><ul><li> <strong>Why would people want to put bad things in their bodies?</strong>  A possible answer might be that they might not realize how dangerous the bad things are; another is that they are not taking care of themselves. Sometimes people start using a drug just to see what it feels like, but it can turn into an addiction (like cigarettes) and it’s very hard to stop using it.</li></ul><br /><ul><li> <strong>Why can’t I taste that “grown-up” drink?</strong> A small amount of alcohol has a much greater negative effect on a child’s body than on an adult’s; even a small amount can sicken a child.</li></ul><br /><div> </div>

Tips for Elementary School Children regarding alcohol tobacco and other drugs

  A child this age usually shows increasing interest in the world outside the family and home. Discuss how anything you put in your body tha...

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Sleep, Lack of equals risk to your teen!

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszd6OZbE5c4NhjHMJ-R6p7qTPp8wtayjzVNt36SRBvI1Vv8pgItSXMtk-pt41YdVR0_taxb2P66U28SmGg8N2VXL7huoPIdCF2jwKOz-XCzJZhA-0PENd0KY8o8dJ2FzBHTbjThkqNJfc/s1600/teensleep.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszd6OZbE5c4NhjHMJ-R6p7qTPp8wtayjzVNt36SRBvI1Vv8pgItSXMtk-pt41YdVR0_taxb2P66U28SmGg8N2VXL7huoPIdCF2jwKOz-XCzJZhA-0PENd0KY8o8dJ2FzBHTbjThkqNJfc/s200/teensleep.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>A <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2011/a0926_insufficient_sleep.html?s_cid=2011_a0926_insufficient_sleep.html">study </a>conducted by the Centers for Disease Control reported that two-thirds of adolescent students reported not getting enough sleep on school nights, which may possibly contribute to a number of risky health behaviors.<br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>The study was based on the information recorded in the <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/yrbs/index.htm">2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS),</a> just under 70% of students surveyed said they got less than eight hours of sleep nightly. The study researchers believe that the lack of sleep was associated with an increased risk of a number of unhealthy behaviors including drug and alcohol use, physical inactivity, and suicidal thoughts. This was revealed in the report released in the authors wrote in Preventive Medicine.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmAUVfFkMmryt3F74bxjaq7Vhi3sU2QvaBS9bPvUx7Ajc6IwdBd4pmjdMrVc5-T4dDKmYn-R7P3IRFm6zkGqZpRscqNYyqjvtGyCVqPtccL0nk6RhvAfw3SEh7xjbLijr4lJqXcvYELC73/s1600/A0023-Teens-and-Risky-behavior_leader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmAUVfFkMmryt3F74bxjaq7Vhi3sU2QvaBS9bPvUx7Ajc6IwdBd4pmjdMrVc5-T4dDKmYn-R7P3IRFm6zkGqZpRscqNYyqjvtGyCVqPtccL0nk6RhvAfw3SEh7xjbLijr4lJqXcvYELC73/s200/A0023-Teens-and-Risky-behavior_leader.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div>The cross-sectional survey included responses from 12,154 high school-age (grades 9 to 12) adolescents attending public or private high school from the 50 states and District of Columbia on health risk behavior and hours of sleep nightly.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Of students who responded, 68.9% get less than the recommended eight hours of sleep a night.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Compared with students who slept eight or more hours a night, those who were sleep deprived were at higher odds for: </div><br /><ul><li>Current use of cigarettes (age-adjusted odds ratio 1.67, 95% confidence interval 1.45 to 1.93)</li><li>Current use of marijuana (AOR 1.52, 95% CI 1.31 to 1.76)</li><li>Current use of alcohol (AOR 1.64, 95% CI 1.46 to 1.84)</li><li>Current sexual activity (AOR 1.41, 95% CI 1.25 to 1.59)</li><li>Serious suicidal ideation (AOR 1.86, 95% CI 1.60 to 2.16)</li><li>Sad or hopeless feelings (AOR 1.62, 95% CI 1.43 to 1.84)</li><li>Getting in one or more physical fights in a year (AOR 1.40, 95% CI 1.24 to 1.60)</li><li>Less than one hour of physical activity daily for five or more days a week (AOR 1.16, 95% CI 1.04 to 1.29)</li><li>Use of computer for non-school activities for three or more hours a day (AOR 1.58, 95% CI 1.38 to 1.80)</li><li>Drinking soft drinks one or more times a day (AOR 1.14, 95% CI 1.03 to 1.28)</li></ul><br /><div>McKnight-Eily and colleagues attributed the higher likelihood of risky behaviors in the sleep-deprived adolescents to a lowered ability to comprehend consequences of their actions or higher susceptibility to peer pressures.</div><br /><div></div>The authors also noted that the combination of lack of sleep and substance use can be detrimental to concentration, alertness, vigilance, and coordination, which may lend itself to further risky behavior. Parental control, or lack thereof, and psychiatric problems are also associated with heightened risk, the researchers wrote.<br /><br /><div></div>The 2007 survey had an 81% school response rate, 84% student response rate, and a 68% overall response rate. Of the total responding student population, 13% failed to submit a response to the hours-of-sleep-nightly question.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>The authors noted that the study was limited by the cross-sectional design and that the results represented students who attend private or public school only</div><div></div><div><br />source: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091743511002878 <br /><br /><br /><br /></div>

Sleep, Lack of equals risk to your teen!

A study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control reported that two-thirds of adolescent students reported not getting enough sleep on sc...

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Teachable Moments about Drug Use

<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EXsE6zfXBq4Is9dpXSe8t5su77n6fE9EH5JMOGY8gCxbh7eNiD-AigMRjs8M4ZFBMaJ24DUHj362ms1ycmXDcVvl84U4ffFpSfHYYdBhSoSbCbTuLao20NPfhq5dL00mt3yd7QkkbUuL/s1600/pd_mom_talking_teen_080303_ms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EXsE6zfXBq4Is9dpXSe8t5su77n6fE9EH5JMOGY8gCxbh7eNiD-AigMRjs8M4ZFBMaJ24DUHj362ms1ycmXDcVvl84U4ffFpSfHYYdBhSoSbCbTuLao20NPfhq5dL00mt3yd7QkkbUuL/s200/pd_mom_talking_teen_080303_ms.jpg" width="200" /></a>Having trouble talking to your teen about the risks of drugs and alcohol? Here are five everyday examples of easy ways to bring up the topic. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><ul style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>Fictional Character</u></strong> -You just took your teen to a PG-13 movie in which one of the main characters drinks and smokes excessively. It’s a good thing you insisted on tagging along, because now you have the opportunity to discuss the film—especially that lead character’s addiction—with your teen. Did your son think the main character’s drug use was cool or did he recognize that she had a problem? </li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYAfu1-lLzzUcMHxAeGUAUUR4IjeC9hBQa1pVi9VZeT_w5zZ7CVc_VOglXm1fJ5JRvrtxVLMncEdlpfVRatnKr3bjwkFIjuLBLdHOvRUqaLSi4WUXR-iT7UG3C-mR6QERSWttqySUJ_7qS/s1600/hdr-parentingAdvice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYAfu1-lLzzUcMHxAeGUAUUR4IjeC9hBQa1pVi9VZeT_w5zZ7CVc_VOglXm1fJ5JRvrtxVLMncEdlpfVRatnKr3bjwkFIjuLBLdHOvRUqaLSi4WUXR-iT7UG3C-mR6QERSWttqySUJ_7qS/s200/hdr-parentingAdvice.jpg" width="200" /></a><strong><u>Movie Star</u></strong> - Your daughter reads every magazine she’s in, owns all her movies, and has her posters taped to her wall. So what happens when her magical movie star goes to rehab for the third time? When that famous face graces the cover of Us Weekly, ask your daughter why she thinks Britney or Lindsay or Paris or whoever it may be this week is such a cool person. If your daughter only cares about her expensive clothes and good looks, remind her that her role model should also be someone who drinks responsibly and either doesn’t do drugs or has taken the initiative to get help for her drug problem. </li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>Professional Athlete</u></strong> - For as long as you can remember, you’ve taught your daughter that “cheaters never win.” Unfortunately, this holds true when her favorite athlete is in the news for taking drugs. Ask your daughter how she feels about professional athletes using illegal substances of any kind and point out how much it can hurt a person’s career and reputation —especially when they get caught. </li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigTVJDMgRhywkxcV-njUpMwJ9Ctgkc7YN5PtC8c4jUTzvbP4JOpv_5xQCZ3DQ6nGhkWAZYcNe_83iUk40uWu8bggP3_Bh7brl7lUF8tRSMW29yZj0_PSHQtAfIXQJ8V2mg9zLyWdjwTdKS/s1600/Woman-and-girl-in-discussion_Black_249x148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigTVJDMgRhywkxcV-njUpMwJ9Ctgkc7YN5PtC8c4jUTzvbP4JOpv_5xQCZ3DQ6nGhkWAZYcNe_83iUk40uWu8bggP3_Bh7brl7lUF8tRSMW29yZj0_PSHQtAfIXQJ8V2mg9zLyWdjwTdKS/s200/Woman-and-girl-in-discussion_Black_249x148.jpg" width="200" /></a><strong><u>Classmate</u></strong> - You don’t need a movie star to get the conversation going with your teen. Two kids in your son’s school each received a DUI over the weekend — and they had other friends in their car when it happened. A lot can come out of this conversation — why drunk driving is so dangerous, the consequences of getting caught, and why you never want your son to get into a car with a friend who’s been using — no matter what. </li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>Relative</u></strong> - Substance abuse issues can often hit close to home, and it’s important that we’re open and honest with our kids when it happens. I f you can, tell them all the details about your relative who is struggling. Explain why there’s a problem and how you, as a family, are going to do what you can to support one another through this tough time. If your teen isn’t asking a ton of questions, that’s okay—he might be feeling uncomfortable about the topic. It might help to emphasize that while addiction can wreak havoc on a person’s life, it is always possible for him or her to make a recovery with the support of friends and family.</li></ul>

Teachable Moments about Drug Use

Having trouble talking to your teen about the risks of drugs and alcohol? Here are five everyday examples of easy ways to bring up the topic...

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Thirteen Ways Any ADULT Can Make An Impact on Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence His or Her Business.<br /><br /><ol><li>Cultivate a respectful attitude toward women in your family and at your workplace. Avoid behaviors that demean or control women. </li><li>When you are angry with your partner or children, respond with out hurting or humiliating them. Model a non-violent, respectful response to resolving conflicts in your family. Call a domestic violence or child abuse prevention program for their help if you continue to hurt members of your family.</li><li>If you have a friend or co-worker who is afraid of her partner or who is being hurt, offer her your support and refer to the 24-hour, toll-free, National Domestic violence Hotline number at 1-800-799- SAFE (7233).</li><li>Learn about domestic violence services in your community. Contribute your time (volunteer!) resources, or money. Call 1-800-END-ABUSE to find out more.</li><li>Call the police if you see or hear violence in progress.</li><li>Talk to your friends and neighbors when they belittle women, make a joke about violence, or ignore a battered woman.</li><li>Ask you local government to collaborate with domestic violence programs to conduct a safety audit of your community.</li><li>Write to music producers, movie companies, Internet businesses, video game producers, and TV stations to speak out about violence against women.</li><li>Develop a women’s safety campaign in your workplace, neighborhood, school or house of worship. Build a consensus among your colleagues and neighbors that abusive behavior and language is unacceptable.</li><li>Bring together your local domestic violence program staff, parents, teachers, students, and school administrators to start a discussion about developing a schoolbased curriculum on dating and family violence.</li><li>Ask that physicians and other health care professionals receive training about domestic violence and follow the diagnostic and treatment guidelines about domestic violence, child abuse, elder abuse developed by the American Medical Association. </li><li>Co-sponsor a citizens’ monitoring group with your local domestic violence program to insure that law enforcement officers, judges, and probation & parole personnel receive training about domestic violence and enforce the law.</li><li>EXAMINE YOUR OWN LIFE for violence</li></ol>

Thirteen Ways Any ADULT Can Make An Impact on Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence His or Her Business. Cultivate a respectful attitude toward women in your family and at your workplace. Avoid behaviors th...

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When can I leave my teen alone?

I think I get asked this question atleast once a week. Do you think my teen is old enough to be home alone? How long can I leave my child at home and not get into legal trouble?<br /><br /><div> </div>My response to them is not as simple. I typically will say to them, have you talked to your child about what they should and should not do at home? Do they know what to do if something happens, like a fire, weather disasterAs children get older, they need to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is taking care of themselves. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, eventually every child needs to be able to stay home alone.<br /><br /><div> </div>Here are ten tips on deciding when your child is ready:<br /><ol><li>Your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone - Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility.</li><li>Your child should be showing signs of accepting the responsibility – Children who are able to get ready for school on time and complete homework and household chores with a minimum of supervision are illustrating their growing sense of responsibility.</li><li>Your child should be aware of the needs of others – Children who remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back and are mindful of the promises they make are aware of other’s needs.</li><li>Your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently – Children who solve problems on their own and do not depend on their parents for every decision are demonstrating some of the skills they need to care for themselves.</li><li>Your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns – Good parent-child communication is needed to ensure that any fears or problems that arise because of staying alone can be quickly discussed and dealt with.</li><li>Your child should know how to react in situations such as – being locked out, being afraid, being bored, being lonely, and arguments with brothers and sisters.</li><li>Your child should know house rules about – leaving the house, having friends in, cooking and use of kitchen equipment, appropriate snacks and meals, talking with friends on the phone, and duties to be completed while home alone.</li><li>Your child should have good telephone skills – Such as a list of emergency numbers, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation, how to respond if someone calls, and understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.</li><li>Your child should have good personal safety skills – Such as how to answer the door when alone, how to lock and unlock windows, what to do if approached by a stranger on the way home, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home, and what to do if someone touches them inappropriately.</li><li>Your child should have good home safety skills – Like kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools), what to do if they smell smoke or gas- or in the event of a fire, what to do during severe storms, basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help.</li></ol><br /><div>Age is one of those thing, I hate to put up for parents, yes its simple to say at this age they are old enough. But in reality it really depends, how mature they are, past experience with caring for themselves and others. Their emotional state, the ability to think critically are all factors that must be considered, before leaving a child alone. Both the child and the parent need to be certain they are ready. A trial period of one or two days a week could be tried first, allowing both the parent and the child time to assure themselves that they are ready for this next step in responsibility.</div><br /><div> </div>

When can I leave my teen alone?

I think I get asked this question atleast once a week. Do you think my teen is old enough to be home alone? How long can I leave my child at...

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Return to School Jitters

The new school year is upon us all. My 11 year old reminded me just prior to school starting that he was “ready to go back to school.” I am reminded that there are many young people that do not want to go back to school. Not because they dislike school and the education process, but that they dislike what occurs while they are in school. The excitement for these children is replaced by foreboding and fear. What am I talking about you may ask? Bullying!<br /><br /><br /><div> </div>Those youth who experience bullying tend to be more reluctant about attending school, especially when they are entering a grade which requires transitioning to a different school setting. Transition is an extremely difficult time, it means physically and emotionally they are going through changes. Bullying is defined as using superior strength or influence, aggressive behavior, or negative, unwanted actions to intimidate or otherwise make another person uncomfortable. These behaviors are usually reproduced over time and are generally used to force a person to do what the bully wants.<br /><br /><div> </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9y2GdFr3jCaoSTyNAB407JY76a0Hw-O6aWeuzzaBQnoxrsc6-RTCR9Idz60_xptaA1smtGASNSeQZx7P7fjeGLvpjGj9KO_nUuepxOTDPbCbmwf-L8e-rWPNRiOoK-AjDtLrOqTjnHqJ/s1600/thumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9y2GdFr3jCaoSTyNAB407JY76a0Hw-O6aWeuzzaBQnoxrsc6-RTCR9Idz60_xptaA1smtGASNSeQZx7P7fjeGLvpjGj9KO_nUuepxOTDPbCbmwf-L8e-rWPNRiOoK-AjDtLrOqTjnHqJ/s200/thumbnail.jpg" width="200" xaa="true" /></a>Most schools have what they believe are effective anti-bullying programs and campaigns. However, what is quite interesting is that most common place for bullying is in the playground estimated at 44%. The second most common place is in the classroom at 28%. This makes perfect sense if you observe the playground activities of most schools in your community. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">The playground is an area that has so many things going on. There are those children who play sports, kickball, basketball, football, soccer or some other sports. Then there are those children who are playing on the jungle gyms and outside play equipment. Lastly, there are those children who are off on their own, in cliques, or small group’s chit chatting or playing some other type of activity. But what many of us do not see is that the adults, those people who are supposed to supervisor our children, in most cases are parent volunteers. They are clumped together, talking amongst themselves. Parent volunteers are just that they are Lunch Moms and Dads who are helping out their school and community by offering supervision. But what lacks is that most of them receive little or no training in the area of dealing with and being able to identify when a child is being bullied. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGfE9Dh2hQy8BpOL0K_A5cTwnXQtgX5MGCGgqSkzQ7smYR1OzEg1JtEq-StGY1Xr5y41SssvjvaNUc0Kxi7JXqGAzARSnaUEmKZolMNvw6-hq0mE0Km69Nu-SQdKm7Kj4m3kN3Vmdf8IAK/s1600/0_teenDrug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGfE9Dh2hQy8BpOL0K_A5cTwnXQtgX5MGCGgqSkzQ7smYR1OzEg1JtEq-StGY1Xr5y41SssvjvaNUc0Kxi7JXqGAzARSnaUEmKZolMNvw6-hq0mE0Km69Nu-SQdKm7Kj4m3kN3Vmdf8IAK/s1600/0_teenDrug.jpg" xaa="true" /></a> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Bullying is seldom an extremely overt act. In the early stages it is extremely subtle and quick. Only after a period of time of prolonged bullying does is it overt and aggressive. As a parent, you should be contacting your school and finding out what training the staff is given, ask the question about volunteers and lunch room staff. Because much of what causes those feeling of uneasiness are those moments on the playground or cafeteria where your child may become a target of bullying.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>The Classroom</u></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Next is the classroom, anti-bullying programs have focused on children and how they can deal they can prevent and deal with bullying. What training have your teachers in your community received? There is little training for teachers to learn how to identify bullying that occurs in the classroom. Much of what occurs in the classroom occurs while the teacher is in the classroom and in full view of the teacher. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUFXRjL_PN50MXKdmJHGCiQ1qO6YQdZN-xfAypcEpU68WgKHM0TEbcdkWPEp6lWCVN7Qw0cNQTIimVD76PPUZK5koz8JhvqWqXRtWjzycc-DueyttgtFDJdH2t3PEN9qoEQV5obkbHCmo2/s1600/classroom1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUFXRjL_PN50MXKdmJHGCiQ1qO6YQdZN-xfAypcEpU68WgKHM0TEbcdkWPEp6lWCVN7Qw0cNQTIimVD76PPUZK5koz8JhvqWqXRtWjzycc-DueyttgtFDJdH2t3PEN9qoEQV5obkbHCmo2/s200/classroom1.jpg" width="200" xaa="true" /></a>Teachers need to not only learn that it occurs right in front of them, but that once they identify it, how they are going to address it properly in the classroom. By this meaning is the teacher going to place the “target” of the bullying into a more uncomfortable situation by assigning blame on the “target.”</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">According to children in school this all too frequently happens and this creates the belief in children that telling an adult does not help the problem. Parents need to stay active and learn what techniques their teachers are using to address bullying in school to prevent this type activity from continuing.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Here are some tips that you can go over to help your child deal with bullying. </strong></div><br /><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Tell them to stop. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Walk away. Do not let them get to you. If you walk away or ignore them, they will not get that satisfaction. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Protect yourself. Sometimes you cannot walk away. If you are being physically hurt, protect yourself so that you can get away. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Tell an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. In some cases, adults need to get involved for the bullying to stop. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Find a safe place. Go somewhere that you feel safe and secure like the library, a favorite teacher’s classroom, or the office.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Stick together. Stay with a group or individuals that you trust. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Find opportunities to make new friends. Explore your interests and join school or community activities such as sports, drama, or art. Volunteer or participate in community service.</li><br /></ul><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Once your child has opened the door, help your child begin to problem-solve. You can role-play different situations and encourage your children to respond in a positive manner. You can also help your child meet new friends or join a new team or club.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">In order to avoid a “he-said, she-said” type argument with the parent of the accused bully, you should refrain from contacting the other parent. Instead, school personnel should be involved. You want to report the situation so the teachers and administrators of your children are aware of the brewing issue and can keep a closer eye while they are on school grounds.</div><br /><div>  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Don’t let your child be another bully statistic. Teach your child how to avoid bullying and what to do if bullying occurs. If your child is involved in a bully situation encourage them to talk to a trust adult.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> </div>

Return to School Jitters

The new school year is upon us all. My 11 year old reminded me just prior to school starting that he was “ready to go back to school.” I am ...

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Parent Tips: Competing with your child's friends!

How as a parent can you compete with what “cool” friends dictate? Peer pressure can impact many areas of your child’s life, from how to dress, what brand of clothes to wear, or what new electronics are must haves. The potentially harmful peer pressure such as drug, alcohol, gang activity and other criminal activities is something everyone from teen to parent will have to deal with.<br /><br /><br /><div></div>Complications to the experience for parents can occur when they do not understand the depths to which these pressures go.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><strong>The use of Cigarettes and Alcohol</strong><br /><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Cigarettes and alcohol will most likely be some of the first areas in which a teenager will face peer pressure. The constant exposure facing teens through media which glamorizes smoking and drinking in movies and television can cause a desensitization of the stigma associated with smoking and drinking. Because of this imagery bombardment many teenagers are shown only the more enjoyable, sometimes fun sides of these habits, rarely are they exposed to the negative sides of alcohol and tobacco. 40% of high school students have tried cigarettes.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeMllqv0-SbldkFUdrum9kyzAIIoV7dusBGLl85yLOh-A8EmuhrYfjdlz7LhQaHprPBOh-6IDHTW46VOjn2BTAOrrWPxyb2J1T5zLdrFp6v_jh4qZRLxt9ikpvwfm3RK8qk58oEpvncyH7/s1600/teenager-smoking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeMllqv0-SbldkFUdrum9kyzAIIoV7dusBGLl85yLOh-A8EmuhrYfjdlz7LhQaHprPBOh-6IDHTW46VOjn2BTAOrrWPxyb2J1T5zLdrFp6v_jh4qZRLxt9ikpvwfm3RK8qk58oEpvncyH7/s200/teenager-smoking.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div></div>High school years are very competitive and where your teenager stands on the “it” scale with the rest of his/her peers is very important to any teen. To be considered a “loser” is one of their biggest fears.<br /><br /><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8tDpHfs-Hl5491Pil2X4jYq5EdoHUEG7_aeHOt3V-VE4o02mkMkkrC918Sj1holWuInA88PjA14TxfPZ-66Ggx9nsGX6ZrcZIOAc-Mp9jS1co8xEm3_fWAJpW7NyrD28yprSIbbDDxq1/s1600/teen-drinking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8tDpHfs-Hl5491Pil2X4jYq5EdoHUEG7_aeHOt3V-VE4o02mkMkkrC918Sj1holWuInA88PjA14TxfPZ-66Ggx9nsGX6ZrcZIOAc-Mp9jS1co8xEm3_fWAJpW7NyrD28yprSIbbDDxq1/s200/teen-drinking.jpg" width="200" /></a>To avoid this label, teens sometimes will portray an image of being tough, rebellious, and uncontrolled by their parents, and smoking and drinking are the easiest ways to declare their independence.</div><br /><strong>Sexual Activity</strong><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTew1d2IAKGlakN7dG5lq3vIZjyCXtbbm3suHY_hyphenhyphenqFbheEJqFN89QnYL7A50RSZYpXe_GqmFgaDwg-DalHkoHXobbRt-Ny1unooptXzPXV3pfq1_7sbk7-cfmXa-85JYXFMkViFkEyur/s1600/sex_ed5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTew1d2IAKGlakN7dG5lq3vIZjyCXtbbm3suHY_hyphenhyphenqFbheEJqFN89QnYL7A50RSZYpXe_GqmFgaDwg-DalHkoHXobbRt-Ny1unooptXzPXV3pfq1_7sbk7-cfmXa-85JYXFMkViFkEyur/s200/sex_ed5.jpg" width="200" /></a>Every year the age at which teenagers begin having sex gets younger and younger. A recent report released by the <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/7280420-418/survey-has-disturbing-stats-about-suburban-teens.html">Cook County Department of Public Health</a>. Showed just how active sexual activity is in teens, some 37% of teens say they have tried sex. Of that number 61 % were African Americans, 49% were Hispanic and 24% were Caucasians. What is even more shocking is that 7% report that they were physically forced to have sex against their will. Some girls feel pressured into having sex in order to be popular or liked by boys. Boys who are not willing to have casual sex with several girls are considered weak.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Oral sex has become very popular among teens due to their belief that oral sex isn’t serious because there is no risk of pregnancy.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Be open with your teenager about all forms of sexual intercourse. Explain that there are other reasons not to become sexually involved too early. Besides worrying about pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, remind your teenager that he/she also needs to consider pride and self-respect.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Drugs</strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">A more dangerous and potentially life-threatening pressure teens face is drugs. Teens have recently been bombarded with the issue of Marijuana. The question of Medical Marijuana has created a state of ambiguity amongst teens. If it is safe why can’t they try it? In fact, in the last two years that this debate has occurred over Medical Marijuana it directly coincides with two years of flat reduction in Marijuana use by teens. Marijuana is an inexpensive drug in today’s society, and most teenagers do not consider it harmful. Some believe it does not cause addiction, and teens don’t realize that it is the gateway to other drugs like cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM7j21FQQAGY1JEBx8LLmWk5X-4AXBmNLiy8iRsdiuPWu0DvuY5zSSFFrNCMrAEHd-RSVBrN4bfNQyGR7zxKzWCM0BGLiBJeVwhJqqSqd9b1VKnTkV888WG7Ty4YSDcy5TJ3dTVONR0YKV/s1600/s-TEEN-DRUG-USE-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM7j21FQQAGY1JEBx8LLmWk5X-4AXBmNLiy8iRsdiuPWu0DvuY5zSSFFrNCMrAEHd-RSVBrN4bfNQyGR7zxKzWCM0BGLiBJeVwhJqqSqd9b1VKnTkV888WG7Ty4YSDcy5TJ3dTVONR0YKV/s200/s-TEEN-DRUG-USE-large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">One of the biggest issues facing teens when . Teens don’t understand that one does not have to be a regular user in order to become addicted, especially when it comes to cocaine.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Parents need to be able to recognize signs of drug use in order to protect their child from becoming addicted to drugs, or to intervene if necessary. The longer a teen is using drugs, the harder it will be to stay sober after treatment.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Reasons that put your teen at higher risk to give into peer pressure:</div></div><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Low self-importance</li><br /><li>Lack of confidence</li><br /><li>No particular interests or hobbies</li><br /><li>Feeling isolated from family</li><br /><li>Curiosity</li><br /><li>The need to “Fit In”</li><br /><li>Being made fun of or called a “loser”</li><br /></ul><br /><div>  <strong>Combating peer pressure</strong></div><br /><div></div><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpQd8zulIFinFf2-bDUwfoQE2Dd-rVnuEM5eXXTGycQXteD5KyaqGRTdgSSaqd6FGrwm22Yx7pojLWlIaT7lWObaFXvXq2qbcfxC-foptEA9bWE8h-FZ1mqFFF89pYrMaI6XxcC0uDB4_a/s1600/imagesCADL1VJ9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpQd8zulIFinFf2-bDUwfoQE2Dd-rVnuEM5eXXTGycQXteD5KyaqGRTdgSSaqd6FGrwm22Yx7pojLWlIaT7lWObaFXvXq2qbcfxC-foptEA9bWE8h-FZ1mqFFF89pYrMaI6XxcC0uDB4_a/s200/imagesCADL1VJ9.jpg" width="200" /></a>Teenager’s may need encouragement to get involved in activities where he/she can find friends whose outlook and character are in line with your family's values. Do not be afraid to suggest activities or groups to them. Many teens are hesitant because they are not sure that they will enjoy it, sometimes they need coaxing.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><br /><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Together, your teen and his/her friends can give moral support to each other which will make it much easier to resist negative peer pressure. Helping your teen learn to stand up for themselves and saying "no," will give them the courage to do the same thing and help others.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Discuss events, actions and their consequences often. Taking the time to help your teen work through these events will help your child to make the right choices when the situation arises.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><br /><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmVlScJStutraREo7fGf-e3p7VjPNRgU_C0SyW7e1kPoepTjNBfeTdt0SPhfNBHWq7nbIBsMqkqwghQKKMncxE-0ZfP3lSGHreLwCym3IYwAdnygcVyrVIXoef-_zPq3VtfBE_I3gZQ79p/s1600/peer_pressure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmVlScJStutraREo7fGf-e3p7VjPNRgU_C0SyW7e1kPoepTjNBfeTdt0SPhfNBHWq7nbIBsMqkqwghQKKMncxE-0ZfP3lSGHreLwCym3IYwAdnygcVyrVIXoef-_zPq3VtfBE_I3gZQ79p/s200/peer_pressure.jpg" width="200" /></a>As parents we sometimes do not believe our children value our opinion, but the opposite is true, they do place a high value on it, however, how we apply it is usually where the message gets missed. Your teen is well aware of what you consider acceptable behavior, your value system, and the rules and limits you have set for your teen.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Telling your teenager not to give into these peer pressures will have little or no effect. Threats and punishment by parents put additional pressure on teenagers. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">  </div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Tug-of-War</strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><br /><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Teens are faced with a constant tug of ware between parents and peers. This can be a harrowing time for a teen. As a parent try to avoid or ease the stress of this tug of war by conveying to your teen that you understand the pressures he/she is facing. Offer open discussions about situations and incidents - without the threat of punishment or judgment. </div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Telling your teen you care about them is paramount. You should try to foster a strong relationship based upon trust and respect. It is important that if your teen feels uneasy or unsure about doing something their friends suggest, he/she is probably about to do something that is wrong, maybe illegal and could possibly have a lasting negative effect on their life.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div><br /><div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Helping your teen realize that the desire to fit in and not being called a loser is important and you understand that, but that they need to set a limit to how much influence his or her friends will place on your teens actions and potentially their future.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div></div>

Parent Tips: Competing with your child's friends!

How as a parent can you compete with what “cool” friends dictate? Peer pressure can impact many areas of your child’s life, from how to dres...

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Safety Tips for your teen going to College

The last several years Colleges all across the country have been exposed to some very high profile criminal cases. No college is immune to crime. College campuses are like most small or medium size cities they all have crime. Going away to college means a new mile stone of adulthood and adult responsibility. <br /><div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">For the first time in life, new college students are going to be wholly responsible for their own personal safety. Taking the time to teach your college bound teen common sense safety tips will help make them safety on or off campus. College students are surrounded by many inexperienced young people, they may face locals who hang around the edges of campus looking to prey on vulnerable young students. Although nearly 98% of the crimes committed on college campuses are related to theft, violent crimes are also a rising concern. Being a prepared college student can significantly reduce their vulnerability to violent crime</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Here are some valuable tips for college bound students safety.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /><strong><u>Do’s:</u></strong> </div><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42yrygFAjV_Sro4bmv1CLqLNGGn7dhy0rcc1Hb4pf_fPrZxBjCdlmYiuQkouRfJz27nhyphenhyphengwgvu0rMSJoO_mvdKn1BgXxV52O9F5HddYhfD6bZtlvVgyL8gZXrPYdEXAoD6B4pS7f_1awj/s1600/College-Campus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42yrygFAjV_Sro4bmv1CLqLNGGn7dhy0rcc1Hb4pf_fPrZxBjCdlmYiuQkouRfJz27nhyphenhyphengwgvu0rMSJoO_mvdKn1BgXxV52O9F5HddYhfD6bZtlvVgyL8gZXrPYdEXAoD6B4pS7f_1awj/s320/College-Campus.jpg" width="320" /></a><strong>Familiarity</strong> - Get familiar with your surroundings as soon as possible Colleges disclose information about violent crimes on campus. This information is usually available from the campus police department or safety office. Visit your College Campus Police Department. Ask around to find out where the trouble spots are on campus and neighborhood. Many colleges offer basic training in safety techniques during new student orientation, take advantage of it.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> <strong>Awareness</strong> - Know where you are, where you are going and what is going on around you. Pay attention to people, events and potential exit routes. Especially at times when you might be under the influence of alcohol. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Preparation</strong> – Simply things like having a fully charges cellular telephone, an extra house key and money for a cab handy if something goes wrong.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Travel as a group</strong> – Whenever possible, travel with another person, especially after dark.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Plan ahead</strong> – Good planning keeps you safe. If possible avoid activities at night as much as possible. Regardless of your activities, tell someone what you are doing and whom you are doing it with. Especially if you are going on a date. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>On Campus</strong> – When walking around on campus travel on well-lighted and well-traveled streets at night avoid unlighted areas, avoid short cuts through areas near water and wooded locations. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Exercising</strong> - If you exercise outdoors, stick to well marked path ways and routes. Better yet find an exercise partner to go with, there is safety in numbers.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Act Confident</strong> - Pay Attention to everything around you, and stand or walk confidently like you know where you are going even if you don’t. Walk with your head up, Look around, Notice everything. Always scan your immediate surroundings. In addition, keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Exiting Your Dorm</strong> - When leaving your dorm or apartment, make sure that all doors and windows are locked – including the main building entry and exits.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Be Leary</strong> - For those people who approach asking for directions or the time of day, be polite but keep a safe distance. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Hide valuables</strong> - When walking in a bad neighborhood or at night, do not wear valuable jewelry. Keep your purse inside your coat or tucked close to your body. Do not carry a loose bag or backpack. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Be Observant</strong> - Keep an eye out for anyone who is loitering or hanging out around your home, campus, after school work. College students are much more likely to be stalked. If you feel someone is following you, go to the nearest occupied residence or building and ask for assistance.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Entering your Dorm or Apartment</strong> - When you get home, particularly after dark, do not hang around at the entrance of your residence. Make a quick check for mail and go in right away. If you feel something wrong, do not go in, go to a friend or neighbor’s house and call for police assistance.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbyyLwY4ldm4NxWiRZSpnAspqP_FNMargn70pXvma2dzsEq6cBcbw1d0Ky80DXbQt0U-qPHH0BUdmFH5AC6RA2Jrd6TZSKuualrEv_tWStJUIWes58lux7trvwfR-7iogOMOPhYCAUU4o9/s1600/large_campus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbyyLwY4ldm4NxWiRZSpnAspqP_FNMargn70pXvma2dzsEq6cBcbw1d0Ky80DXbQt0U-qPHH0BUdmFH5AC6RA2Jrd6TZSKuualrEv_tWStJUIWes58lux7trvwfR-7iogOMOPhYCAUU4o9/s320/large_campus.jpg" width="320" /></a><strong>Trust your intuition</strong> - If a house party or a dorm room study session starts to make you feel uncomfortable, pack up your stuff and get out of there. Your safety is more important than being polite.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Call the Police when you see something that does not seem right.</strong></li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Copy Important Documents</strong> - Make copies of important papers, credit cards, health ID cards. Place them in a safe place, give a copy to Mom if your credit cards are stolen you can call mom and she can give you the information.</li><br /></ul><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><u>Some Don’ts</u></strong></div><ul><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Distracted </strong>- Don’t walk with your MP3 player volume up to high. You should be able to hear what is going on around you. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Distracted Redo</strong> – Don’t text and walk or read your cellular telephone while you are walking. Being distracted allows a predator to get closer to you than if you were not distracted. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Go to a bad neighborhood</strong> - If you do not know about the safety of a neighborhood, ask someone you trust before you go there. Reconsider walking or driving alone while in a potentially bad neighborhood especially at night. </li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Don’t go to ATM at night</strong> – Predators see people getting cash from an ATM and they look to target those people. Instead do it when you are with the group, during the day time.</li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Don’t carry large sums of money.</strong></li><br /><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Don’t be a moving target</strong> - Do not give an attacker time to plan an attack. When going somewhere, keep moving. If you are in a parking lot that is potentially unsafe, get in your car, lock the doors and leave. </li><br /><li><strong>Keep in mind that safety is the first priority</strong>! These safety tips are helpful to not only college students, but also all of us at any time. be safe!</li><br /></ul><br /><div></div>

Safety Tips for your teen going to College

The last several years Colleges all across the country have been exposed to some very high profile criminal cases. No college is immune to c...

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Teens Starting High School – Tips for Parents

<div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_lvIktawGIE97DRLLBLYFNakLwW6VhWnIyCCxG_rxRE6aE0NHrGvnAXoNEBCre7RGrhBpn4_3J_EKsQYETOMJVdZ8aKLOV37EFavZxPWgSJMKH9pYSpKR7NQ9QAvo0FYvqsXOH7n_WqYx/s1600/high-school-musical.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_lvIktawGIE97DRLLBLYFNakLwW6VhWnIyCCxG_rxRE6aE0NHrGvnAXoNEBCre7RGrhBpn4_3J_EKsQYETOMJVdZ8aKLOV37EFavZxPWgSJMKH9pYSpKR7NQ9QAvo0FYvqsXOH7n_WqYx/s200/high-school-musical.jpg" width="200" /></a>Teenagers all over the world will take the leap from child to young adult this fall. They will be entering High School for the first time. This milestone brings a variety of feelings and emotions. They are beginning four of the most difficult, yet most memorable years of their life. If you think you are anxious and scared, try being your teen. Next year I will be experiencing this very thing with the entry of my daughter going into high school. Although I worry, my daughter is a well put together young lady. With that being said the stress experienced between my wife, my daughter and I should be minimized some. However, these tips are still helpful even for well prepared teens and parents. </div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Be Open and Understanding</strong> - Realize that your teen is going to be stressed and irritable for the first few weeks of their freshman year. There are many things that can contribute to your teen’s moodiness or withdrawn state. They are experiencing numerous changes in their life; all at the same time. Just like when you are pushed to your max with stress, your teen may experience headaches, stomachaches, or sleepiness. They need time and space to figure it all out in their own mind. Be patient and give them the time they need to sort things out for themselves.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Be Available and Reassuring</strong> - They may be young adults with a need to start making more decisions on their own and taking on more responsibility, but that doesn’t mean that they are full blown adults with minds that can handle all the stress and pressure of taking on those tasks. Reassure them that you are there when they need you and also how to “back off” when necessary so they can figure things out for themselves. Have you ever heard the phrase “Helicopter Parent?” It simply means hovering over your teens every decision, allow them to make some decisions, experience some failures and learn from them before you jump in to “save” </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Your teenager is just that, a teen. You need to let them know that you trust them to make their own decisions. Let them know that you are always there should they get stuck and need a helping hand from someone they trust. Show them in ways other than saying things such as, “I’m here if you want to talk.” It’s not always easy for a teenager to start up a serious conversation, especially with Mom or Dad. There are times when you need to get creative. Depending on your teen that may mean writing a letter or taking them shopping and talking about what’s going on in their life while driving.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmkTHNlRRAHavadckyOIKAQ3cTAozbtSZMTxVv4NoI6fAtft78b0lM9Oax9_N9xNSfpCJjVlpixR7xbVJuIJAf-z9IXNtBLxRQDWjv2wWsmvFwephefukmchI8FgtCeWJBsIdIEM4sq1LF/s1600/Aspergers+students+and+high+school+problems.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmkTHNlRRAHavadckyOIKAQ3cTAozbtSZMTxVv4NoI6fAtft78b0lM9Oax9_N9xNSfpCJjVlpixR7xbVJuIJAf-z9IXNtBLxRQDWjv2wWsmvFwephefukmchI8FgtCeWJBsIdIEM4sq1LF/s200/Aspergers+students+and+high+school+problems.jpg" width="200" /></a><strong>Be Supportive and Loving</strong> - Your teenager is no longer the ‘big dog’, but instead a ‘newbie’. Teenagers need to know that Mom and/or Dad support their decisions. They may have a difficult time fitting in; therefore, the need to try new things is necessary and helps them to figure out who they are. As long as the activity is not detrimental to them or anyone else, let them try a new sport, club, or other extracurricular hobby.</div></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Support them in their decision, even if you know in the long run they will not participate next year. Give them the opportunity to find out for themselves if they enjoy certain activities. Remind them that family is something that will always be there. They are moving away from you as a parent but not disconnecting with the family completely and that’s OK.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Set Routines and Limits</strong> - Yes, they may be growing up, but they aren’t adults yet. Even teenagers need routines and limits. It will help to make the transition to high school easier on both of you if make limits together before the first week of school. Sit down and tell your child what your expectations are and really listen to their expectations of you as well. Settle on certain guidelines and routines that make both of you happy with the end result. This not only puts your mind at ease, but will also show your teen that you acknowledge that they are capable of making sound decisions and taking other’s considerations into</div><div style="text-align: justify;">account.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Being a parent of a teenager can be a trying time and high school can seem overwhelming for them. Share in the good times and be there to lean on for the bad. Before you know it, you’ll be catching that cap and tassel at your teen’s graduation.</div><br />

Teens Starting High School – Tips for Parents

Teenagers all over the world will take the leap from child to young adult this fall. They will be entering High School for the first time. T...

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Teen Tips: Girls - Surviving Middle School

<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgagh7QJqrZTanRE7aNP2xXT56FB4qyBo5FZ6wAcZ2rumtXMiAswD-hHojM-6phkMaBVJERKnmG-2db_4990cPcmrcmMos5vd15lS20Q3KDw3H_sdv97Vf52IVGGuuF7c_00NygYNOJpvnM/s1600/508589071_7ff48a7ec6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="171" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgagh7QJqrZTanRE7aNP2xXT56FB4qyBo5FZ6wAcZ2rumtXMiAswD-hHojM-6phkMaBVJERKnmG-2db_4990cPcmrcmMos5vd15lS20Q3KDw3H_sdv97Vf52IVGGuuF7c_00NygYNOJpvnM/s200/508589071_7ff48a7ec6.jpg" width="200" /></a>For parents sending your tween off to Middle school creates all kinds of anxiety for parents, but for your tween too! Middle school is a great time of a tweens life, including all kinds of new experiences and changes. The turmoil, emotion and hormones are all pooled together into the experience of growing into your early teen years. I think I heard it summed up the best by one of my daughters principals, for incoming Middle School parents. "Teens loose their minds for two years and by the time they come out of middle school they are normal again." . Here are some ideas about middle-school ups and downs and what parents can do -- and not do -- to help.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Middle school is full of really cool experience and stuff. While much of what goes on in school is normal and routine, there are the worries about the so called "mean girls"   But let me re-enforce that is important for parents to realize that this is a time when their daughters develop socially.While much is written about mean girls, it's important for parents to realize how much fun this time can be socially for their daughters. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Friendships</strong></div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrF8xxLHYdi7P_KjGWST8xOT2fziMBBDwXVVlwqPhQatDvBcMvinhsU1wa2D4xfsxm7s5WM240C9n2MqFWDRM-WCoZ0MZv5n5vphMGMuJ_HNVm5y_c5_ofoHuvSWn8eYeUdQOi4mbn0qr5/s1600/tween-girl-friends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrF8xxLHYdi7P_KjGWST8xOT2fziMBBDwXVVlwqPhQatDvBcMvinhsU1wa2D4xfsxm7s5WM240C9n2MqFWDRM-WCoZ0MZv5n5vphMGMuJ_HNVm5y_c5_ofoHuvSWn8eYeUdQOi4mbn0qr5/s320/tween-girl-friends.jpg" width="320" /></a>One of the key issues is for parents is understanding how friendships change. At this stage, when girls get together what they mostly do is talk. They talk in person about music and clothes and boys -- and then they talk online. Communication breaks down for many parents at this time, which develops frustration for many parents.  This is a critical time for parents, not to create times of conflict but to open up lines of communication. Looking for ways to communicate or new ways to community are paramount. Most adults have embraced the texting. Take the time to text your daughter, if you are not on a social networking site, join one. Get added to a friend on your child's, its key to understanding their conversations, and pitfalls that they are experiencing. It is also a critical time to stay relevant in your child's life. Texting, instant messaging and posting on your child's social networking site make it a great way to stay right out in front of your child. Saying "here I am", "I can help."  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><strong>The culture of media sets the tone for middle school. </strong><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMA5WRIf2DdkxRUImeKpf6gKFTPz0ssSk-61o-dV86gV7k8UXBwjoR5XREf8P5eywUv9f8THP7yQU7A3Hn9RahpMiKRa5JaO-bWecLbFawDJmU0VjrV136QQE6MYUHep4Cu_5qhzIFG0V5/s1600/article-page-main_ehow_images_a04_r1_gj_summer-makeover-teen-girls-800x800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMA5WRIf2DdkxRUImeKpf6gKFTPz0ssSk-61o-dV86gV7k8UXBwjoR5XREf8P5eywUv9f8THP7yQU7A3Hn9RahpMiKRa5JaO-bWecLbFawDJmU0VjrV136QQE6MYUHep4Cu_5qhzIFG0V5/s200/article-page-main_ehow_images_a04_r1_gj_summer-makeover-teen-girls-800x800.jpg" width="200" /></a>Girls this age are thrilled that they are about to become teenagers. The entire pulse of what goes in middle school takes on its only feeling and way of thinking for them. Girls live their lives online, doing homework, watching TV, and talking to friends simultaneously. While they can use the Internet in wonderful ways, they can sometimes use it to flame and shame each other, spread vicious rumors, and post malicious information behind girls' backs. It is at the time, that by being involved, understanding the music, the shows and what is happening will help you keep those lines of communication open. This allows you to stay right in the mix with your tween, their friends and the issues they are facing.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Hormones can affect behavior in middle school. </strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">It's hard to be a girl at this age and stage, like my daughters principal said the Hormones make girls edgy, crabby, cranky and teary and their bodies are going through all kinds of changes. Because this is all happening at once and at different rates it can make girls feel uncomfortable with their own. Those same raging hormones and interest in boys can also disrupt the existing social order. If you haven't had the "discussion" about sex with your tween by 10 or 11, now would the time. Listening during this key phase of your tween is paramount, especially when it involves boys. When your daughter mentions a boy, don't immediately jump to the possible attraction between them. It might or might not be there. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>The social hierarchy intensifies in middle school. </strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAynAbakv9RjbmMSdhZPjniKlI15C43tRUR-n-wk8HyXD2jkVGnxXLpjTZNVcCN3iK7VJzCtfTO0UYaSqGpx2V_JRf5whe7PGhAsHp2OfIypdYm4KrIi2NpMC7CtHhPGL7psFqxCEaN4CZ/s1600/8627763-teen-girls-whispering-and-telling-secrets-in-school.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAynAbakv9RjbmMSdhZPjniKlI15C43tRUR-n-wk8HyXD2jkVGnxXLpjTZNVcCN3iK7VJzCtfTO0UYaSqGpx2V_JRf5whe7PGhAsHp2OfIypdYm4KrIi2NpMC7CtHhPGL7psFqxCEaN4CZ/s1600/8627763-teen-girls-whispering-and-telling-secrets-in-school.jpg" /></a>Cliques get clique-ier, the need to be in power intensifies, and girls can get meaner and much of this behavior stems from the intense desire to belong, the need to feel powerful, and the conditioning that many girls have to not express their feelings directly. This sense of belonging can make a tween girl also ripe to joining a gang. Early recruitment is something parents should be concerned about, but if you are involved in your daughters  Some girls function as leaders, others as followers, and the rest live outside the groups. Some of these girls don't care, while others desperately want to belong. But don't worry to much about this, by eighth grade, most girls develop a certain sense of girls being mean to each other and they learn to steer away from those girls. By eighth grade they are focused their attention towards sex, but this does not mean they are ready to act upon it.<br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Having a teenager is an extremely difficult time in both your teen and parent's life. But being involved in your teens life, you can help them navigate these turbulent times, lending them guidance and being a valuable resource to your teen. This will only set them up for success in their future into high school and adult hood.  </div>

Teen Tips: Girls - Surviving Middle School

For parents sending your tween off to Middle school creates all kinds of anxiety for parents, but for your tween too! Middle school is a gre...

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